When Al and Tipper Gore announced that their marriage of 40 years was ending, the reaction of the American public ranged from sadness to shock. What is of note is not that this couple divorced, but that more couples of 40 years or more do not generally divorce. Reasons why we should not be surprised include:

1. Marriage is a socially constructed relationship. Societies create marriage to bond men and women together legally for the care and protection of children. Among lower animals, most (over 90%) go their merry way after sex. But because human infants have a sustained period of dependence, societies attempt to lock in the parents to take care of their offspring. There is no biological reason for two people to live in the same nest for 40 years or even 4 years. Social programming is much weaker than biological programming. Divorce should be no surprise.
2. Marital satisfaction declines over time. Most studies on marital satisfaction show a decline of reported marital happiness over time. We should not be surprised that 40 years of Gore togetherness had an eroding effect on some of their enjoyment of being together
3. Satiation is like the law of gravity. Satiation means that individuals tire of everything with repeated exposure. Whether food, a new house, or each other, nothing can remain “new,” and it is the “new” which revives a person’s wake from boredom. We are not suggesting that the Gores did not love each other or enjoy their companionship; we are suggesting that after 40 years together, the principle of satiation will be operative and take its toll for all couples.
4. Social disapproval was minimal. With both sets of parents dead, children out of the house and into their own lives, there was no longer the fear of abject disapproval (from people who mattered) for the Gores getting a divorce. Primary group relationships (those with one’s own parents and children) exercise the most social control over one’s behavior, not secondary group relationships (such as those with friends and the American public). The Gores knew their marriage would be on the cover of USA Today and People Magazine once, then, within a month, nothing. Hence, no sustained disapproval from primary group members and the public losing interest—fast—created an environment for divorce.
5. Each spouse had alternatives. Both Al and Tipper are articulate attractive people that others would be interested in having a personal/romantic relationship with. The chance for a new love before old age and death could have its appeal.
6. Money: The Gores could afford a divorce. While some stay together out of economic survival, the 8.8 million dollar house the Gores lived in reflects that they are well enough off to withstand splitting everything with neither suffering economically. Al pays Tipper spousal support since he has the higher income… but he can afford it.

Divorce is a sad time for all individuals, including those getting divorced. But the Gores made a private decision to make public what had already occurred behind closed doors—to go their separate ways. We should not be surprised.  But divorce is not inevitable.  At Heartchoice.com we offer free SKYPE therapy to keep your marriage on track (and happy).