| This
month's Poll |
The best marriages have a religious/spiritual basis.
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| Ten Things Women Should Do To Get Through Divorce |
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Try Divorce Mediation First. Rather than get a lawyer who will destroy your
relationship with your soon to be former husband and make co-parenting almost
impossible, contact a divorce mediator to help negotiate differences with your
ex spouse. Mediation is less expensive, takes less time, and encourages a more
cooperative relationship with your ex than litigation.
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Talk with A Lawyer
if Mediation is not Possible. If your former husband will not agreed to
mediation or has become unreasonable, accurate legal advice is very
important. State law will dictate your divorce. Talk to a lawyer
in your state. Click here
and make
a phone call for information now...what you don't know can hurt
you.
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Choose Your Reaction. Remember that it is not the divorce but your reaction
to it that determines its impact on you and your children. Divorce is not the
end of your life or theirs so don't treat it like that. View it as a new
page in both of your lives and a challenge. You can get through the divorce
and can benefit from it.
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Focus on Positives. Focus on the positives of your divorce. For example,
you no longer live with your husband in a relationship that is characterized
by strain, tension, and unhappiness.
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Get Along with Your Former Husband. The one thing you can do to ensure that
divorce has a minimal negative impact on your children is to get along with
your former husband. This may not be possible, but give it your
best.
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Try to Only Say Good Things about Your Kid's Dad. Look for positive
aspects of your former spouse as a parent and take every opportunity to tell
your children what a good father they
have.
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Remember Father's Day with Your Kids. Father's Day, as well as your former
partner's birthday, are opportunities for you to emphasize to your children
the importance you place on them having a good relationship with their dad.
Never mind that your former spouse may not do this for you....take the high
road.
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Be the Parent. It is OK to enjoy the companionship with your children and
to be a friend to them. But remember that your first responsibility is to be
their mother first, which includes demanding respect and providing
discipline.
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Get a life. Being a good parent is one aspect of who you are. But you also
have a life beyond your children. When they are with their dad, rather than
brood over their absence, use this time to be with friends, or enjoying
activities you can't do with your children.
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Get over It. Divorce will only destroy you if you let it. Move
on. Read the section on "Ready to start over?" in the helpful articles
section. |
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