Thee Questions Women Ask About Divorce

Question: I did not want the divorce and my children tell me they miss their daddy and want him home. What do I say to them?

Your goal is to protect the relationship your children have with their dad,not  to prove that you wanted to keep the family together. Tell them that their Dad misses them too and remind them of when they will see their Dad next. Tell them how happy their Dad will be to see them. You might also suggest that they phone or email their Dad, write him a letter, or draw a picture to give to Daddy.

Question: My ex-husband does things with my children when they are with him that I disapprove of such as teaching them to shoot a gun at a rifle range, taking them white water rafting, and taking them bungee jumping. What can I do?

You can do very little. Since your ex has the legal right (as do you) to expose his children to activities of his choice when they are with him, you might consider that the two of you together will have very balanced children since they will learn a different set of behaviors and values from you. A case can be made for the styles of parenting of both your and your ex-husband. Unless you feel that he is reckless and that the children's lives are in danger (an attorney can alert you to your legal options), let it go.

Question: I am divorced and remarried to a man who has two children who do not like me. What can I do?

Basically, don't take personally the fact that they do not like you. They may not like any new person in their dad's life. You represent the death of their family as they knew it and they may fear getting close to you out of disloyalty to their mother. Give them time. Lots of it. In the meantime, avoid saying anything negative to your stepchildren or behaving negatively toward them. Also, do not criticize their mother in front of them. Encourage your husband to spend time alone with his children doing activities the children enjoy. The more secure his children feel in their relationship with their Dad, the less likely they will view you as a threat.