I need to talk about sex in our relationship.  I’m not comfortable talking about this and don’t know exactly what I want to say so I have written it down to try and help me get the words right.  I like you, enjoy the time we spend together, and want us to continue seeing each other.  The sex is something I need to feel good about to make it good for you, for me and for us.

I need for us to slow down sexually.  I need to feel an emotional connection that goes both ways- we both have very strong emotional feelings for each other.  I also need to feel secure that we are going somewhere- that we have a future and that we are committed to each other.  We aren’t there yet so I need to wait till we get there to be sexual with you.

How long will this take?- I don’t know- the general answer is “longer than now.”  I know this may not be what you have in mind and that you are probably ready now for us to increase the sex.  I’m glad that you want it cause I want it too but I need to feel right about it.

So, for now, let me drive the bus sexually…when I feel the emotional connection and that we are going somewhere, I’ll be the best sex partner you ever had.  But let me move us forward.

If this is too slow for you or not what you have in mind,  maybe I’m not the girl for you.  It is  certainly OK for you to tell me you need more and move on.   Otherwise, we can still continue to see each other and see where the relationship goes.

So….tell me how you feel and what you want……and don’t feel like you need to tell me that I am your soulmate, that you love me and want us  to get married…..ha! I’m not asking that……I’m just asking for time…