For you to have a successful relationship, it is vital to have effective communication.

In fact, studies show that the number one reason for a successful relationship and a marriage is good communication between the two partners, whereas, the number one reason why relationships and marriages fail is poor communication. Contrary to what many people believe, successful communicators are made, not born. Being a successful communicator involves learning, or improving upon, a specific set of skills. The key elements of the communication process will help you to avoid miscommunication and greatly enhance your chances of having a successful relationship or marriage.

Most people think they know a lot about communicating because they spend so much time doing it. Linguistic experts tell us that we spend from 70 to 90 percent of our waking hours in some type of communication activity, but just because people are communicating, that doesn't necessarily mean that they're doing it well. Communication can be defined as a two-pat process in which information is provided clearly and unambiguously, and in which it is received accurately and without defensiveness. By communicating clearly, a successful relationship is much more viable.

There is a very true saying about relationships that says; communication is to relationships what breathing is to life, and that communication is the largest single factor that determines what kind of relationship a person has with another - whether it is a successful relationship or an unsuccessful relationship.

Troubled or unhappy couples often seem uncomfortable and cold. The atmosphere and that language tend to be formal or polite, but they often seem tense or bored. One or both people are often frightened, because they never know when lightening, as in criticism or an attack is going to hit them - serving all as hindrances to a successful relationship.

On the other hand happy couples are almost the exact opposite of troubled couples. The atmosphere in a successful relationship is one of genuineness and warmth. Both people seem to enjoy being with one another. They are openly affectionate, touching and hugging all the time. Conversations are real. They talk with rather than at one another and also listen with interest to what each other have to say.

In order to have a good level of communication in a successful relationship there must be a high quality and a quantity of unbroken time with each other. Couples need to get away alone together and just spend long stretches of time keeping the communication channels open. Whenever two people get so busy that they stop taking time to talk there is guaranteed troubles ahead.

Communication requires both speaking and listening. It requires a clear understanding between the major differences between a man and a woman. For example men are more direct and women are more indirect. Men are more focused on results and completion or closure, whereas women are more concerned about relationships and the process of communication. It is this lack of understanding that often leads to misunderstandings in relationships and marriages - all preventing us from having a successful relationship.